About Me
Art & Poetry
Rants & Hatemail
Cool Sites
Home | Philosophy | Art & Poetry | Rants | Writing | About Me | Cool Sites
General Writing

Prepare to be offended by my ego, which should be no surprise considering the fact that I am the owner of a page called egotistical bastards . I liked how my egotism started with the title of the page, it's one thing to say you're clever, it's another to use the same lines as Nietzsche.

-This is often follow by: "Why I am so arrogant" - because people are so inferior.

I mean...

-it's because people keep on stroking my ego unnecessarily, I am like that spoiled child who keeps on getting more spoiled.

How to be clever like me:

1. Be an outcast, of course you can't consciously do that, people just outcast you for you.
2. Live under a rock, it helps if you're an outcast, living under a rock entails complete ignorance of pop culture in the early formative years resulting in disgust and ridicule by your peers. I didn't live under a rock, but I did spend alot of my childhood collect rocks
3. Be stomped into the ground
4. Be a strong atheist, all the strong atheists I have ever met have been intelligent
5. Read books until you destroy your eyesight
6. Have overbearing parents
7. Have an obsessive compulsive personality
8. Have an addiction, it helps if you have an obsessive compulse personality
9. Talk to smart people, unlike the failed theory that hanging out with tall people will make you tall, hanging out with smart people will make you smarter
10. Have a failed sense of fashion
11. Be arguementive with people smarter than you so that you will guarantee yourself to be stomped into the ground.
12. Talk to anarchists
13. Talk to philosophers
14. Be stomped into the ground
15. Instead of teenage angst, have a nihilistic phase
16. Do well in school (initially)
17. Slack off when school actually becomes in important
18. Procrastinate as much as you masturbate, that would be lots.
19. Have offensive beliefs ("Your religion sucks, stop breathing my air")
20. Develop a fetish for perfect spelling and grammar
21. Obsessively check your spelling on dictionary.com (note: this also helps if you have an obsessive compulsive personality)
22. Be stomped into the ground
23. Be as sexually attractive to your preferred sex as an ugly sea slug


24. Laugh at your own jokes
25. Laugh at your own pain (this helps with being stomped into the ground)
26. Say "Foolish Mortals" over and over again, like a mantra when browsing people's profiles on the internet
27. Use long unecessary words
28. Use long unecessary redundently redundent language
1001. Supersede the numbering system
1002. Recieve high marks in mathematics
1003. Learn how to count... your fingers
1004. lol. Laugh at your own jokes
29. Start a flamewar with a PhD student
30. Start a flamewar so subtle it ends in the other person being banned (okay, they were being an asshole to someone initially, and I just prodded them a little with my biting sarcasm and they totally snapped)

.... (leave unecessary pauses)

32. Make people feel awkward for no reason
33. Be a total ditz/dullard
34. pretend to be a total ditz/dullard
35. hide the fact that you're a total ditz/dullard
63. Confuse people
38. Avoid things
39. Be stomped into the ground
40. Make things rhyme
41. "More brain, more pain"
42. Worship [ Dil* ] as your god and saviour
43. Tell people you're not clever
44. Be a hypocrite
45. Lie very well
46. Never lie
47. Be obsessed with truth and knowledge to the point of vice
48. Have no self-esteem (It gets in the way of getting stomped into the ground)
49. Have an ego the size of a small planet, emphasis on small, you don't want to look arrogant
50. Be clever

Home>About Me>"Why I am So Clever"